Students, parents learn about internet safety

Expert urges parents to stay educated with teens online

Part 1 of 4

It’s one of the new rights of passage for older children and teens — their first cell phone. Digital devices like tablets, phones and laptops usually offer a high satisfaction rating among kids at Christmas, but with personal devices like cell phones, there’s a monumental responsibility that comes with staying safe in the vast and relatively untethered world of the internet.

“Parents and today’s teens grew up in very different generations,” said Nick Chernoff, with Safer Schools Together, an organization determined to help parents and other adults in children’s lives, like teachers, help students keep themselves safe online. “Jobs, colleges and universities will be looking at their social media profiles and what they put out there.”

Continuously connected

Chernoff was at East Washington Schools on Tuesday, Dec. 5, to hold presentations with students throughout the day and a parent meeting that evening. He said he was able to access a significant percentage of students’ Facebook pages with just a few names of students who did not have privacy settings on their profiles.

“They were all connected and open accounts,” he said. “We’re constantly connected with the internet. We’re lucky, but unlucky in that way … Nothing is private anymore. The minute it’s out there, it’s public and that can be used positively or negatively, and it stays out there, even if it’s getting deleted.”

Along with safety matters, he discussed ways to help teens learn when to take a step back and put down their phones in order to maintain face-to-face social skills.

He suggested a sit-down, family meeting to talk about digital use and set some ground rules for the way kids will use technology in the home. He mentioned setting technology limits, perhaps prohibiting kids from having their phone or laptop in their bedrooms.

“The most prevalent sexting is done between 1 and 3 a.m.,” he said. “Kids are more likely to engage in risky behavior after Mom or Dad have gone to bed.”

He suggesting putting the wifi modem in a parent’s bedroom and turning it off when they go to bed, along with instituting parental controls on all kids’ devices.

“Make technology a privilege, not a right,” said Chernoff.

That said, Chernoff cautioned against taking devices away after every single poor choice made online.

“If we get mad and take the device after every single thing they do, they won’t come to you when they should, when they’re in trouble and need help,” he said. “Set ground rules from day one. ‘This is for you, but we’ll learn it together.’ You wouldn’t give a kid keys to a car and send them on their way. It’s the same with digital devices.”
He encouraged parents to educate themselves on social media and not to just consider the age limits imposed by the media outlets to determine when a young person should get an account.

“Technology is here and it’s not going away,” he said. “Saying, ‘technology isn’t my thing and it’s not going to be my thing,’ is the wrong attitude to take.”

Part 2 will deal with media addiction and just how long digital information lasts (hint: it’s usually forever).

Managing media addiction and metadata

Part 2 of 4

Rather than battening down the hatches and ensuring that no one can see anything students do online, Nick Chernoff, with Safer Schools Together, encourages parents to help their children market themselves positively online, posting about their interests and hobbies and not posting about things that could make college recruiters or employers think twice. 

Safer Schools Together is an organization determined to help parents and other adults in children’s lives, like teachers, help students keep themselves safe online. Chernoff spoke at East Washington Schools in December.

He suggested students (and parents as well) Google themselves to see what that brings up about what’s easily available to see from what they have been doing. He showed another website, FamilyTreeNow.com, which keeps track of phone numbers and past addresses of individuals. For those concerned, there is an opt-out process for that website.

Along with these safety issues, there’s a concern about media addiction, where individuals get antsy or even aggressive when they can’t use their phone or computer.

“They’re physically addicted to their devices,” said Chernoff. “They haven’t been told when to put their phone down and they can’t handle face-to-face interaction.”

He said teens spend around eight or nine hours a day consuming media, not including schoolwork. That’s TV, movies, radio, social media, online videos and more.

“It triggers dopamine and can offer a double dose,” he said. “It feels good to put that picture or that post out there and they get a second dopamine dump when people interact with a post they made as well.”

He suggested a documentary called “Screenagers” for parents and other concerned individuals who want to learn more about teenage digital consumption.

Managing the metadata

And with increased use of smartphones and similar devices comes that device’s increased knowledge of the user. Without specific privacy settings in place, sending out that selfie can offer more information than how your hair looks that day.

In each photo taken on a cell phone, or even regular digital cameras, there are pieces of information inside the digital file called metadata, detailing the time, camera settings and, sometimes, the exact latitude and longitude of where the photo was taken. This information is only available from the raw, original image, but those are being blipped around constantly due to users sending each other things through their phones.

“We tell kids not to give out personal information, but they might meet a stranger in a game and they might not tell the stranger where they live, but they might send a picture,” said Chernoff. “… Your phones want to keep track of you.”

Metadata can not be collected from photos posted to social media sites.

Part 3 will address sexting and how to talk about it before it happens.

The dangers of sexting

Part 3 of 4

As if the birds-and-the-bees talk needed to get more awkward for most parents, now they have to deal with sexting; sending explicit photos/texts. 

Nick Chernoff with Safer Schools Together suggests  adding a digital component to The Talk, discussing sexting, both pictures, video and just text messages. Chernoff spoke to parents and students in presentations at East Washington Schools in early December.

“There are kids as young as 10 engaging in sexting behavior,” he said. 

Most parents wouldn’t consider middle and high school students sending explicit messages and pictures to be harmless fun, but many don’t consider the legal ramifications.

In some cases, minors distributing explicit or even nearly explicit pictures of themselves, even to other minors, was considered distribution of child pornography.

“We need to talk to kids about what healthy relationships look like,” said Chernoff. “Sexting is not what you do in a healthy relationship. Discussions about sexting shouldn’t just be when you’re talking about digital devices or online safety. They need to be part of discussions about boundaries, peer pressure, sexuality and self-esteem, too.”

Sexting also opens teens up to “sextortion,” where a person who receives a suggestive picture threatens the sender to spread them around if they don’t receive more photos or money.

“We need to keep lines of communication open so kids will come to us if they or one of their friends runs into this problem,” said Chernoff.

Getting schooled

So where are your kids going online? And how do you monitor them? Kids are fleeing the more widely used places like Facebook and Twitter because … well, Mom and Dad are on Facebook and Twitter. 

Chernoff encouraged parents to learn apps with their children and examine ways to stay safe together.

“Sit down and play the games with them,” he said.

He mentioned a few popular sites and apps he’s noticed students using. 

Roblox is geared toward younger kids, but there are ways to interact and chat with other players within the game. This can be harmless or incredibly dangerous and there’s often no way for inexperienced children to determine which is which until it’s too late.

“The days of pedophiles luring kids over on the playground are over,” said Chernoff. “Here is the playground.”

He suggested finding games that could be played offline, eliminating the ability for someone to talk to your child online. If you decide a child is capable of handling chats within the game, discuss with them what to do if someone reaches out, giving them the tools they need if someone less wholesome tries to connect.

When it comes to safety, Chernoff also said he and Safer Schools Together has noticed a trend of kids putting their Snapchat and other usernames in the bio sections of other, more widely used apps like Instagram or Twitter. That’s a concern because it makes them even more connectable with anyone on the internet who may want to track them online.

And that information may not be on the account you associate with them. Often, Chernoff said, kids will set up what’s called spam accounts, second accounts where they share things they wouldn’t want Mom or Dad finding out about. They may also use apps like VSCO, an app very similar to Instagram, but with no privacy settings.

“Everything is public,” he said. “They’re putting more risky photos there because parents aren’t as aware of it.”

Chernoff suggested parents look at not only their children’s posts, but also the comments from others on those posts and to be aware of the instant messaging systems many of these apps have.

Part 4 will delve in to the immensely popular app Snapchat and how even parents post TMI online.

The Snapchat Generation, plus TMI

Part 4 of 4

The Snapchat app got a subsection of the discussion all of its own at an informational session held at East Washington Schools in December. The speaker was Nick Chernoff with Safer Schools Together, an organization determined to help parents and other adults in children’s lives, like teachers, help students keep themselves safe online. 

Snapchat has taken over Facebook, Twitter and texting in general as one of the main ways teens communicate. They, and their parents, feel safer knowing their messages get deleted after a matter of seconds unless they’re using the My Story feature, which lets a connection view the story for 24 hours, or Infinity, which lets a connection view the message for as long as they want, but once they close out of the message, they can’t see it again without the sender knowing.

However, there are hidden galleries within Snapchat and the Snap Map, which lets users create an avatar of themselves and, using the GPS location in their phone, pinpoints with alarming accuracy exactly where they are in the world. The maps feature can be turned off with Ghost Mode.

Even so, Snapchat itself, in its privacy policy, says it might be possible to recover deleted photos.

“Most say ‘We cannot guarantee that deletion always occurs within a particular timeframe,’” said Chernoff.

One of the other concerns with Snapchat isn’t the privacy or the safety features, but something a bit more sinister.

“Snapchat pays a lot of money to developers to keep kids addicted,” said Chernoff. Things like regularly changing filters and new features aren’t just ways to make the app fun, he said. It’s a way to keep kids glued to the app.

TMI

Chernoff told the story of a family who was robbed after posting about their vacation from their hotel. When they got home and filed a claim, it was denied. The insurance company noticed they had been reckless in posting their location from their vacation destination.

“Wait until you get home,” Chernoff cautioned.

Another thing to think about is the photos and information you post about your children.

“Be proud of your kids, but consider that you are starting their digital footprints when sharing pictures of them as children,” he said. 

Furthermore, be aware of information going out in your pictures, such as house numbers in photos taken on the lawn or license plate numbers of your vehicles in the background of photos.

“We know to never post pictures of drivers licenses or passport photos,” said Chernoff. “If you’re going to post pictures, block out identifying information.”

‘Learn with them’

So how do you keep your child safe? How do you navigate these choppy waters? When do you let them leave the safe, sturdy island on a, hopefully, sturdy raft?

Chernoff encouraged setting up accounts with them using a strong password. To garner trust, he suggested putting the password in a sealed envelope on the refrigerator or somewhere else that’s easy for you to access.

“This way, they know you do trust them, but that you also have the ability to access that password at any time if you think they may be breaking the ground rules you set down,” he said. 

Set the accounts to private, though parents should keep in mind that kids may not really know their online friends. 

“You’re only as strong as your weakest link,” said Chernoff.

On the other hand, parents should encourage kids to post about their hobbies and interests, showcasing their achievements and endeavors, not just for friends and family, but also for future employers and college admissions offices.

In the end, he said parental controls work, but aren’t foolproof.

“We knew some were jokes when I was a kid,” said Chernoff.

That’s why parental involvement and guidance go a long way. Parents need to work with children to build a positive digital footprint, manage privacy settings, educate themselves and talk about online activities while keeping lines of communication open.

“Above all, do not go home and take away your child’s devices,” Chernoff told those gathered at East Washington. “Go home and learn with them.”

For more information about staying safe online with your child, visit www.saferschoolstogether.com. There is a parent resource section on that website, which you can access by clicking “About Us” and then “Parent Resources” from the drop-down menu. You can also find Safer Schools Together, along with Nick Chernoff, on Twitter at @Safer_Schools and @Nick_Chernoff, respectively.